10 Signs That You Are In A Relationship With A Narcissist

Are there some things in your relationship that make you uncomfortable? Can’t you say exactly what’s bothering you about it? If your partner talks too much only about himself and his own problems and gives an idealized picture of himself, it can be a sign that you are in a relationship with the narcissist.

In this article, we share some warning signs and give tips on how you should act.

Narcissistic personality disorder

According to psychologist Stephen Johnson, a narcissist is someone who has hidden his true self-expression in response to mental wounds and replaced it with a false, better, and compensating self.

The traditional image of a narcissist as a self-loving person does not match the real image of such a person. On the contrary, the narcissist does not love himself; he loves the idealized image he builds of himself. In fact, the narcissist is deeply wounded on the inside, has low self-esteem, and hides behind his idealized self rather than facing reality.

It’s not easy to get along with a narcissist. The narcissist’s need to feel superiority can cause him to belittle and underestimate others.

Below, we share some patterns of behavior typical of narcissists and give tips for working with them… especially if you’re in a relationship with a narcissist.

Signs that you are in a relationship with a narcissist

1. His conversation is like an endless monologue

Conversing with a narcissist can be numbing and frustrating because in reality the narcissist does not converse; his speech is a continuous and long-running monologue.

Even if you try to get the floor, he will not let you participate. He may just interrupt you by saying, for example, “no,” “therefore,” or “but,” because he often believes he knows everything himself. If you do manage to express your opinion, he will ignore it or correct it.

For this reason, it is normal to feel frustrated when talking to a narcissist.

2. All conversations revolve around him

The topic of conversation always passes to him. Even in a conversation between several people, the narcissist always tries to turn the subject of the speech back to himself or to some object or person he worships or desires. For this reason, narcissists constantly interrupt and take their mouths without respecting others.

In addition to this, they often do not listen to others, but ignore them or dominate any opportunity. If your partner is a narcissist, you may feel underestimated or undervalued.

3. The narcissist wants to break the rules

The narcissist needs to feel that he is different and superior to others. For this reason, the narcissist often enjoys breaking the rules. This may include disregarding traffic rules, taking office supplies home, etc.

Such acts make him feel that he is above the law, the rules, and society. He feels superior to others and believes he can do anything without penalty.

4. You are in a relationship with a narcissist if your partner does not respect boundaries

Because the narcissist feels superior to others, you are always below him. For this reason, narcissists do not respect or fulfill the wishes of their partner. He himself is his own priority.

Have you ever lent him money and never paid it back? Does he belittle your feelings or accomplishments? Is he trying to stop you from taking the time and space for yourself?

In this case, it may be that you are in a relationship with a narcissist.

5. He gives a false picture of himself

This is a basic feature of narcissists. The narcissist may feel the need to curl up for far too long to impress others. In addition, he often praises himself in consultation with others, saying, for example, “See how good this looks on me” or “I’m just the best”.

He thinks he needs to make others believe he is worthy of admiration. In reality, however, the narcissist is a very insecure person with low self-esteem.

6. He believes he must be the center of the world

Not only are your needs less important to him, the  narcissist also expects you to meet his needs before your own. The narcissist believes he is the more important party in the relationship, which is why he demands constant attention from you regardless of your own needs and responsibilities.

7. She was charming at first

He was charming at first trying to get you in his traps. You found him charismatic, persuasive, charming and thoughtful. But as the relationship progressed and his desire to charm you disappeared, something seemed to go wrong.

The narcissist must be the best in everything. So he has to be perfect too. When he gets tired of playing, things change.

8. He presents himself as a hero or heroine

Because the narcissist feels superior to others, he constructs an idealized image of himself. He often presents himself as a hero, infinitely magnificent, and a better person than others.

For this reason, he may genuinely believe that you are nothing without him.

9. Some narcissists fall victim

A good way for a person with a narcissistic personality disorder to get attention for themselves is to sacrifice. He will make you forget your own needs and focus on yourself. This is his goal from the beginning.

This can happen at any time. The narcissist may make you feel guilty about his treatment if you don’t do what he wants.

10. He is manipulative

For a narcissist, other people are nothing more than a means to meet his own needs. For example, a narcissist may choose a physically attractive or wealthy person as his partner just to introduce this to others or to ensure that his own needs are met.

What to do if you are in a relationship with a narcissist

If you want things to change, you have to be tougher. For this reason, you should do the following:

• Know that your partner needs help. If you want to stay in a relationship, you need to understand that deep down, narcissists are insecure people with low self-esteem.
• Encourage him to seek therapy. Narcissistic personality disorder is a condition that can significantly impair a person’s quality of life, not to mention those close to him or her. Proper therapy is the best way to help a person repair the wounds that led to the onset of personality disorder from the beginning, and thus treat it underneath or prevent it from causing more problems.
• Apply for therapy yourself. In addition to encouraging your partner to seek therapy, so if you want to commit to this relationship, you yourself need to get help. In therapy, you learn to take better care of yourself in a relationship.

• Show him that his behavior is bothering you. You need to make it clear to him what annoys you, like how difficult it is to talk to him, that he always puts his own needs ahead of your needs, etc. Tell him that you are also an important person and you also have your own needs and requirements.
• Stay positive. Even when you explain to him that it matters to you, don’t imply that he gets under your skin with his behavior. If you let him know that you are really angry, you may inadvertently reinforce his sense of superiority. Instead, explain things to him calmly and set appropriate boundaries.
• Keep your line. While the narcissist is trying to make you see that his goals are more important, remember that you have yours too. Remember that you are your own person with your own needs, goals and dreams.

Do you recognize any of these characters? In this case, act now! Whether you plan to end a relationship or decide to stay in it, remember that you are just as important as your partner.