Fear Of Being Rejected: What If My Partner Leaves Me?
Did you know that one of the reasons why so many of us don’t dare to express our feelings or thoughts is precisely the fear of being rejected? Many are not afraid to even raise an issue that could potentially annoy our partner so much that he or she decides to reject us.
This fear may be related, for example, to the traumatic experience of childhood or adolescence or to being abandoned by a former partner. Whatever trauma is behind us, it is very important that we are able to fight the fear of being rejected so that we can feel free and safe.
Fear of being rejected; when and how does it manifest itself?
Emotional addiction could be described, for example, as an invisible chain that binds us to another person and in most cases that other person is their own partner. It is because of this bond of love that many fear that their partner will suddenly leave and forget, for without the presence of a partner, feeling unhappy and empty, and no longer wanting to find reasons to smile.
Society has led us to believe that the world will always be imperfect and unbalanced if we do not find our own soul mate. However, this romantic myth is not true because we don’t have to be dependent on another person to be happy and enjoy life.
Reasons for fear of being rejected
The fear of being rejected usually stems from childhood and the affection between the child and the parents. It is true that the connection to one’s own child is almost unbreakable, but for some parents, a special relationship with the child can still start to cause a certain kind of addiction in the child. The worst thing about addiction is that the addiction is stored in the child’s mind and body for the rest of their lives.
For example, a baby may feel anxious when the mother is not nearby, but when the mother is present, the baby begins to feel comfortable again. This is a normal reaction, as the presence of the mother means a sense of security and well-being for the baby.
In some cases, the child is never taught to be independent and independent of his or her parents. In this way, the intimacy that at first seemed so incredible begins to damage the development of the child’s personality. Why is this happening? Addiction follows a child until adulthood, when this begins to seek attention and security from another person, who in most cases is their own partner.
Fear follows adulthood
The fear of being rejected follows many of us until adulthood and can come to the point that the mind no longer even spins other thoughts. An adult addicted to love and a sense of security often also ends up alone, as who would want to get stuck in an unstable relationship with someone who doesn’t have their own goals, hobbies, and dreams. Ironically, a person suffering from addiction spends all his time not being rejected by his partner.
How to overcome the fear of being rejected?
It is pointless to blame your own parents or ex-partner for your own interdependence, because blaming will not help anyone move forward. Fortunately, it is possible to overcome our own fears and traumas and this way we can feel free and happy completely, regardless of whether we are in a relationship or not.
Overcoming your own fears and traumas is undoubtedly a slow and complex process. Fortunately, with strong commitment and motivation, results can be achieved that we can certainly be satisfied with. Admittedly, this doesn’t mean you jump from one day to the next and you’re suddenly independent because it doesn’t go that way. Set yourself realistic goals and take it one day at a time. This way, you will be able to enjoy even a small achievement every time, as it will mean a positive change for your whole life.
First step
As a first step, learn to love and respect yourself just the way you are. Also dare to pamper yourself without waiting for your partner’s approval or permission first. Pampering yourself doesn’t make you a selfish person, on the contrary! Also keep in mind that few people want to spend every hour of the day with a close relative.
Find activities and hobbies for yourself where your partner is not involved. For example, you can go to a hairdresser, dance classes or a cooking class. Remember, even if your partner could and would like to come with you, the idea is to do it alone. This is how you get to feel good and have fun even without your partner’s presence.
Think about how long it’s been since you last went shopping, movies or coffee without your partner? Try spending time alone, because there is nothing wrong with having fun without your partner. On top of all that, you can always turn to your good friends when needed. However, keep in mind that if you tend to communicate or call with your friends several times a day to praise how much you love your partner and how you can’t live without him, try to reduce this and focus your energy on yourself instead.
However, if, despite all your efforts, you are unable to overcome your addiction alone or with the help of your friends, professional help may be needed in this case.
Finally
If you are afraid of being rejected, feel free to talk to your partner. Tell him how you feel; this way your partner can support and help you overcome the feeling of loneliness, fear and evil. Contrary to what you might think, talking about it doesn’t drive your partner away but on the contrary, it can help you and your partner reunite on an even deeper level.
