Why Do Japanese Children Always Obey Their Parents?

Japan is a well admired country. Japanese children, for example, are very obedient as well as well-behaved, polite, and considerate. They learn the rules and obey them and adapt their behavior to what is expected of them. This method of raising children is quite wonderful.

Japanese parents are confident that their children will learn the right kind of behavior through the examples given by their parents. They feel responsible for what their children become like.

You may be wondering how Japanese parenting leads to a result where children always obey their parents. Continue reading to learn the main features of Japanese education. You will find that it is very different from the upbringing we know in the Western world.

Japanese children obey and are well behaved

According to a cross-societal parenting study by the Kansas Association For Infant Mental Health called “ Discipline in early childhood, ” Japanese families promote love, empathy, and harmony.

This study showed that Japanese children obey and learn to behave socially like adults. At home, however, children are dependent on their parents (especially their mothers). They do not prevent addiction. On the contrary, they actually accept and encourage it.

With extreme intimacy, Japanese parents reduce a young child’s individual tendency to do what he or she wants. That’s why most Japanese children don’t get rage attacks. (However, there are always exceptions.)

Love in Japan

Parents, especially mothers, have a very close relationship with their children. Parents encourage this intimacy and reinforce addiction. As is the custom in Japan, parents dress and feed the children. In addition, they sleep together until the children are 6 years old.

The relationship between mother and child is intimate. They are practically made up of a unit and “share their thoughts” instead of being two separate and independent people. During the child’s first three years, his mother takes him everywhere with him.

In Japan, mothers are very dedicated to their children. It is very unlikely that a Japanese child will go to kindergarten or preschool before the age of three. Formal school begins at this age.

Japanese parenting practices

Many Japanese parents think that their children are well brought up because the upbringing is based on their philosophical beliefs: Confucianism.

The Japanese way of raising children comes from the Confucian idea of ​​raising a child with kindness. This virtue creates inner peace and joy.

Based on this principle, there are some fundamental components of Japanese parenting:

Power of the proposal

First, Japanese mothers use persuasion, suggestion, and sometimes shame to discipline. In this way, they avoid direct confrontation with their children.  This, of course, minimizes the child’s defiance or aggressive attitude.

In addition, Japanese mothers use suggestion to tell their children what they should do. Instead of shouting “fix your toy!”, They say “what to do with the toys now?”. The child must therefore deduce the correct answer and implement it. However, if the child refuses to do so and pretends not to hear the question or suggestion, his or her mother may use subtle mockery as a means. Then the child obeys rather than feels ashamed.

The power of gestures

A Japanese child is so attached to his mother that he is even aware of his mother’s feelings and gestures. She even knows the state of harmony that the mother is in at any given moment. So the child does his best not to disturb that harmony.

When a mother suggests something, she also has a look on her face that tells the child that she would be surprised if the child disobeyed.

However, the mother does not punish the child or pipe her directly. Again, he just tells the child about his disappointment with the look on his face. Because the child is genuinely interested in maintaining harmony with his mother, he avoids confrontation and does what is expected of him.

Understanding and love: Japanese children obey

Japanese mothers have also learned to read their children’s moods. They use this skill to change their persuasion techniques whenever necessary.

If they find that their child’s mood is not the right kind to fulfill the request, they will try their best not to make that request at that very moment. They will probably make the request later.

If a child refuses to collect their toys, the mother uses a polite condescension. She says the child is not ready or not developed enough to do so, or maybe she is just too tired or wants to keep playing.

Many Japanese parents do anything to make their children feel loved, valued, and respected. They are the embodiment of patience, kindness, and compassion. This parenting style is perhaps challenging for Western mothers.

What do you think about this way of growing? Does it feel good or bad to you, or maybe it has both something positive and something negative?